Saturday, February 13, 2010

Worst Olympic Opening Ceremonies Ever

And after the 2004 Opening Ceremonies in Greece that's saying something. In all seriousness, I've seen better Disney On Ice live events. In fact, I'm pretty sure they stole a few ideas from some of these kinds of shows such as the lone Snowboarding scrub racing into the area down a short hill in front of a huge movie screen that had been showing a clip of this same kid boarding down a real mountain.

Canada lived up to it lame reputation and delivered an incredibly dull snooze fest complete with technical malfunctions and the mindboggling decision to have two Olympic flame cauldrons. One inside a closed area that didn't work and one across town outside where the damn thing is supposed to be for all to see. This of course led to the oh so thrilling spectacle of watching the final torch bearer Wayne Gretzky be driven to the final location. All this after the world sat around waiting for a fourth leg of a lazily designed flame bucket rise from the stage floor. Now that's the kind of compelling TV we'll all be talking about for weeks to come!

They couldn't even create matching costumes for any production number. With so few actors, singers or dancers on the stage, you could barely follow what was going on without TV camera close ups. It was as if they prepared this show for a five thousand seat theater and then found out they had to perform in a much larger venue.

And since when did Canada embrace all their Indian cultures so much? The Indian influence ran through nearly all points of production. They either thought these would be costumes that caused the least amount of design work and effort or it's the only heritage they could pretend they actually had because practically everything in Canada is imported into their culture from other origin points in the world.

The best entertainment during the night was listening to NBC's Matt Lauer and Bob Costas struggle to say glowing things about the mess..."well, it's certainly intamate...". Missing were typical praises of such a huge world wide event like "spectacle", "astonishing", "thrilling", "amazing", "mind blowing" or "memorable". The best thing you can say about the Vancouver opening ceremonies is that it did every athlete in the arena a favor and made them sleepy so they'd all get plenty of rest for the games.

At least it's now over and soon to be forgotten...until they bore the world all over again with the closing ceremonies. Now, onto the games...Bring on the crashes and wipeouts!

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