BitterNews for Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

• This month’s 3A release “Little Shadow” is now revealed to have 3 (4?) versions – Regular, Shadow, and Cherry. Cherry is in what looks like a schoolgirl uniform and is sold in a two pack with Sanakhte. No word on who or what Sanakhte is yet.
• Mattel Fuck Up Of The Day: Feel free to troll the web for March 15th Mattel Q&A Answers – you’ll find a veritable masterclass in how NOT to handle PR.
• Kick-Ass 2: is subtitled “Balls To The Wall”. Reports on the first film are great, pouring in from SXSW screenings. And yesterday we saw the largest theater standee we have seen in a LONG LONG time at our local – looks like they are gearing up for a hit.
• It appears that there will be a cross-over superteam in the Image universe following Image United. The team will be called Guardians of the Globe – a name that has been used in Invincible since the early issues.
• Dynamite Entertainment just bought the Vampirella character from Harris – expect to see a lot of ugly merch and hideous comics in the very near future – much like you’ve been seeing for the last 15 years.
• iTampon dates are sliding backwards for pre-orders – now into mid-April. We have yet to determine if this delay affects the 3G model as well as the Wi-Fi only version.
• Interesting that this year the SXSW hype is mostly on the movie & interactive side, with music taking 3rd place as the industry slides further into a mudhole.
• Scott Weiland has blamed the wives of his Velvet Revolver bandmates for the breakup of the band. Apparently it had nothing to do with the fact that the albums sucked and Weiland is a smacked-out egomaniac.
• Michael Lohan, Lindsay’s dad, had a heart attack Tuesday. Which he survived, dammit.
• John Edwards' dick pincushion, Rielle Hunter, is claiming she didn’t know GQ was going to use shots of her flashing her panties in the new issue, and that she never approved them. Meanwhile GQ released video of her looking over the shots as they were being taken. Must… stretch….15…minutes….of….fame…
• The Marvel Universe digital giveaway figure contest is over and the winner is the unlikely repaint of Arcangel in his X-Force duds. How many ways can you say “yawn”?
• Conan O’Brien is planning a film of his upcoming comedy revue tour. The tour, which was designed as a way to keep his TV staff busy until the next move, is going to hit 30 cities and has already sold out both Radio City and Madison Square Garden.
• Courtney Love has apologized to Billy Corgan. For the syphilis?
• Roxy Music has announced a gig in the wake of finishing their first (as yet unreleased) album in many decades. It will be in Barcelona on June 19th.
• Jay-Z and Jack White have recorded together. So Jay-Z is done.
• Celebudouche Perez Hilton has revealed that Snoop Dogg is getting paid a fuckload to play the tired old queen’s “party” at SXSW. Good for you, Snoop.
• James Brown’s body is located. It was behind the couch.