Thursday, January 28, 2010

BitterNews for Thursday, January 28th, 2010

• BREAKING NEWS: Miramax – the amazing indie film company run by the Weinstein brothers, has closed shop. Miramax brought you many of your favorite 90’s films but struggled after moving away from Disney. Inglorious Basterds was one of their last high-profile releases.
• According to US Weekly Jessica Simpson ripped a big one during a business meeting and her mom called her on it in front of a room full of executives. Yikes.
• Lou Reed is going to reissue and tour Metal Machine Music, the industrial noise album he made in the mid-70’s in an attempt to escape his record label at the time. Now he’s acting like it wasn’t a piece of shit prank that accidentally escaped, but is actually a work of art. What a tool!
• Michael Douglas’ son is going to do hard time on account of sweet drugs.
• JD Salinger is dead. In the rye.
• Brittany Murphy’s Husband (ex-husband?) is filing a wrongful death suit against Warner Bros films because not putting her in Happy Feet 2 is what killed her. Not her pre-existing condition or the drugs. Happy Feet 2. My feeling is if Happy Feet 2 is all that will keep you alive, the world is a better place without you. And are all the rest of us who aren’t Happy feet 2 doing to die as a result? TELL ME DAMMIT!!! UPDATE: And now Warners has responded.
• The Haiti Relief album is the first album to hit #1 with no physical counterpart.
• Heidi McDonald’s Beat comic blog is moving from Publisher Weekly to it’s own site in the coming weeks.
• Frank Kozik has a new bust to follow his Beethoven/Clockwork Orange mash-up; it’s Dead Che.
• Olivia Newton-John is going back to movies – playing a Canadian Hockey Mom.
• Skeletor sold out.
• The South Park guys are putting together an off-Broadway musical.
• Playmates is making new Shrek toys before they finally go out of business.
• NBC is putting Biggest Loser against Lost premier. So they want to end Biggest Loser.
• Clone Wars episode this week introduces a three-part Mandalorian storyline, for all you Fett Fags.
• David Spade has cut a deal to make a Joe Dirt cartoon with TBS. This is probably the most improbable news of the day.
• Hot Toys Blade 2 figure is out in HK. Sideshow orders will probably be filled in about 30 days if history means anything.
• HOLY FUCKING SHIT!! The iPad won’t run FLASH!!!!! who cares?
• BM Bendis & Zac Efron – a match made in heaven. I know the kid is huge, but this is kind of a joke in my book.
• There’s going to be a Punisher story in Marvel’s “Girl Comics #1”. Bet there’s a girl in it.
• A bunch of Marvel books due to be released next week were significantly damaged and will be delayed or partially shipped as a result. Siege #2 is the main problem, I’d guess, but about 24 titles total are affected.
• Borders laid off 124 people at their HQ today. The march towards death has begun.
• Beloved cancer-beating stand-up Robert Schimmell was on Howard Stern this morning, and he dropped a few bombshells; first he’s divorcing his soon to be ex-wife (the best friend of his daughter, BTW – who didn’t see this coming) and second, he needs a liver transplant. It was a real bummer segment and Stern was audibly shaken. First Artie, now this? Schimmell’s new DVD is out at Amazon or you can buy signed copies direct from Robert’s website.
• Billy Idol and Paul Rogers being considered by Joe Perry for Steve Tyler’s place in Aerosmith. Apparently neither are very interested, with Idol bailing on the meeting with “a cold”.
• UK Toy Fair happened and there wasn’t much exciting. Tron figures, new Legos, etc, etc…

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