Thursday, January 21, 2010

BitterNews Roundup for January 21st, 2010

• Conan (O’Brien, not the Barbarian) & staff get $42 million for sitting it out until only September 1st (???) when they will return on Fox at 11 and crush Leno once and for all. Nice one. Oh, and Tonight Show ratings up 50%. Leno show – not so much…
• Heidi McDonald’s Beat was down most of today, back up now.
• Hurt Locker not as good as film awards & critics think it is. My capsule review: War is scary. Defusing bombs makes you tense. If you go to war, you’ll meet a lot of people you wouldn’t have otherwise and some of them will handle their circumstances better than others. I just saved you two hours of your life.
• Opening Friday: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in the Tooth Fairy, Indiana Solo in Extraordinary Measures (looking OLD dude), and our “least of many evils” pick, Legion, which gets the pick because of the old lady that crawls on the roof like Spiderman while rotating her head like Reagan in the Exorcist. The rest of it probably sucks.
• Sideshow admits they fucked up Firefly and are now looking to fix it. Sold out anyway. They also state that their intention is to make the Joes “real life” versions of their RAH counterparts, which frankly seems stupid to me when that whole license you paid for is really the sales driver. And is Cobra Commander based in any reality? Snake-Eyes’ mask? Just saying.
• Avatar is still not as good as you think it is.
• New DVD releases for Tuesday: Surrogates with Die Hard, Saw 87 with no one, Michael Jackson: I Can’t Sleep Doctor, Whip It (maybe the worst Drew Barrymore movie EVER – can your mind handle it??), and our pick, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell – because we didn’t see it and it’s supposed to be really offensive.
• Thor movie started filming this week.
• New DC Direct To Video animated feature will suck like all have (except New Frontier).
• Kick-ass #8 next week. Previews up online.
• Air America shuts down – thanks Scott Brown.
• Robot Chicken picked up for two more seasons. Still won’t make Seth Green any taller or less insecure.
• Pee-Wee Herman show is back – live only in LA, but with much of the TV cast!
• Lady GaGa is losing money touring. Great.
• Sundance is underway.
• “Red” film based on comic book drawn by Cully Hamner is shooting with Bruce Willis.
• Kanye West not invited to Clooney’s Haiti benefit. Quel Surprise’.
• Wall Street doesn’t like fiscal responsibility. Dow drops 200pts.
• New Runaways clip is online.
• Scott Pilgrim test screenings get great reports.
• Brian Eno compares record sales to whale blubber. Got analogy while looking in mirror.
• Apple tablet update: looks like flattened iPhone and will have two dock connectors
• Artie Lange spoke briefly to Howard Stern on air yesterday.
• After the “Fall of the Hulks” storyline, look for a mini-run called “Hulked Out Heroes” where other Marvel characters become Hulk-like creatures.
• The Four Horsemen (sculptors of DCU line) have issued some bullshit about why Darkseid sculpt is the size it is. Who cares?
• According to her husband, Brittany Murphy died of a broken heart because she wasn’t hired for Happy Feet 2. He’s not on drugs much.
• Rhianna’s new boyfriend beat his ex. STEEERIKE TWO!
• Drea De Matteo from the Sopranos has an AC/DC logo tattooed right over her cooch.

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