Wednesday, June 24, 2009

God Michael Bay is a retard

Saw the new Transformers film last night at a screening. I loved the first film. ILM delivers another brilliant production of 50ft robots pounding the crap out of each other. Beyond that, this sequel is a fucking train wreck that never had to be this way. But what Michael Bay giveth, he taketh away. This hack deserves every negative comment you've ever read about him or his lack of filmmaking skills.

What I learned about Michael Bay while watching TF2:

He loves, loves, LOVES jokes about the crotch, the testicals or a man's ass. And too much is never enough in this film. Yes, robots have BALLS! Big swinging, clanking balls. Let's all look up and snicker kids!

Any female in a background crowd shot or any extras casting must be hot as hell and no older than 23. No doubt each one hand picked by Bay himself in his trailer. Good to be the king on set.

Worrying about racial stereotypes in his films is for pansies. Wait until you see the Autobot twins Mupflap and Skids...both apparently straight outta Compton, Yo!

Apparently no one reminded him that this film sells a shit load of toys to very young kids. Screw that..."More sexual innuendo, foul language and dick jokes! I don't think we have enough yet!".

He loves the U.S. military. I doubt any footage shot of a soldier, plane or tank is on the cutting room floor.

He's a total douche.

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