Friday, October 2, 2009

Matty Sucks: We Interpret The Latest BS From Mattel

Here's the latest Q&A from Mattel's Boys Action Team that was released yesterday. These are fan-submitted questions (designated by the Q), with responses by Mattel (designated by the A). And our interpretations of their responses (designated by the BG). Enjoy!

Q1. Question(s) about the newly announced DCUC 12 C&C Darkseid. A. How big is he? B. Is he the same sculpt as before with a bigger head and a death glove? C. Is the glove removable with an alternate hand? D.
Any possibility of a cape ala Super Powers for him?
A1. He will be 9 inches tall with an alternate hand, but will not include a cape.
BG: We are too cheap to put a cape in. Of course he will be as big as the other BAFs, idiot. We are ignoring the rest of your questions because we need to get back to writing excuses for our mind-boggling incompetence.
Q2. Why are there two different Battle Axe Batman figures in B:TBatB?
They have different SKU numbers, different package art, different axes and one has a new sculpt with chest armor while the other is just a regular figure.
A2. It is a running change to the figure. There is a great image up on Facebook showing this insert!
BG: We fucked up so bad on that one that instead of just telling you we'd fix it in a running change, we actually DID FIX IT!! I know, it's a surprise to us too, and we did it!

Q3. So what IS happening with JLU in 2010? Will it still be at Target? There are a lot of rumors about JLU flying about, it’s death or continuation, at Target, on Mattycollector, or elsewhere. A lot of fans are waiting with baited breath to get news on its fate. Any news that you can share to ease our suffering? Anything? Assurances? Hints?

A3. We cannot announce our 2010 plans yet. Make sure to check out the JLU 4 packs on
BG: Our plans are this; there are no plans. No retailer in his right mind (so that still leaves TRU) would touch this line after we clusterfucked it out of existence. Now please buy some of the figures we have for sale so Toyguru isn't eating this shit for breakfast for the next ten years. that stuff is starting to stink up the warehouse!

Q4. Several people received this email from concerning their pre-orders for DCUC Wave 9:
"Hi – we unfortunately have received bad news from Mattel on the DC Universe Series 9 assortment. They have informed us that they grossly under-produced this wave and that only about 25% of our order will be filled. Many other stores also apparently have suffered the same huge shortage, and the product is short across the entire market. We were extremely upset with Mattel for this news and have relayed to them how upset our customers will be as well.
At this point, we unfortunately do not expect any more shipments from Mattel. For those of you who ordered between February 13th and 14th, it is possible that your orders=2 0will fill due to cancellations and non-payment of orders from people who ordered before you (their cancelled orders will move to the next people in line automatically).
If you ordered after these dates, it is very unlikely we will have any inventory, and we suggest that you purchase these figures anywhere else you may be able to find them. (You can view the date you ordered your product by logging into your BBTS account and viewing your preorders) We have heard reports they are showing up at mass market stores, and some should also be on ebay. We absolutely hate not being able to fill your order, but Mattel has really screwed up this wave and there is not anything we can do about it. We are hoping that some sort of future production run of DCU 09 can be negotiated, but at this point there is nothing worked out. We will keep your preorders open in our system until we can determine if Mattel will produce more in the future or not. We will email you with any further news as we hear it from Mattel, hopefully something will be resolved. The sales manager at Mattel did assure me that DCU waves 11, 12, and 13 would not suffer from the same issues, so we do not anticipate any shortages on those waves."
Can you speak to what happened with wave 9? Was it under produced? Did the larger big box retailers end up with a larger allocation of that assortment? Should collectors be worried about finding this wave?
A4. Sorry, but we cannot comment on the production run of any figure line.

BG: Are you serious? "Should collectors be worried about finding this wave?" Shouldn't collectors be worried about finding ANY wave of DCU? Why would this series be any different? We have to go and figure out how to kill this line a little quicker. Your thoughts are welcome. ***Seriously, why did they even include this question if they weren't going to answer it? Did they want to make sure everyone that wasn't pissed at them already had a reason to be angry?***

Q5. What will the new case pack outs be on the next round of JLU 3 packs ? Talking about the Batman Beyond,Cheetah, Blackhawk and Flash 3 packs. How many of which ones to a case maybe just rough numbers?

A5. There will be three new sets per case, 2 of each set.

BG: Not that it matters because you'll never find them, loser. We only shipped 4% of what Target ordered of the new assortments, but if you need that Question 3 pack, now's your chance because we shipped them a bunch of those instead.

Q6. Do you have more DCUC 5 packs planned? And why is the current Walmart 5-pack called "The Gotham City 5?" when it has Superman and Lex in it?
A6. We do have more 5 packs planned, but not for 2009. The set was originally an all Bat pack, but Superman and Lex were added late in the game.

BG: We are so lazy!!! We didn't even bother to change the text on the box, which would take about five seconds in photoshop!! Ha-ha-ha!!! Yes, we're planning more five packs, but with a little luck, we'll get this line cancelled before they can be released.

Q7. We have seen a lot of characters from the classic CRISIS maxi-series appear in DCIH. Any chance that some of these characters would make into DCUC over the next year? I would love to see the ’80s Supergirl in the DCUC line. It would also be a nice nod to Super Powers since she was considered for that line at one point.

A7. We can’t comment on unannounced figures, but yes, all of these figures could be put into the DCUC line. Stay tuned!
BG: For those of you thinking we would actually answer your questions, blow us!! Ha -ha ha!!

Q8. Sigourney Weaver is fair game for the Ghostbusters line, what about Rick Moranis? Any chance of Ghostbusters going monthly next year? At this point the guys won’t be complete until May…what about the oft mentioned variants? and figures such as Unslimed Egon and Peter? Every other month for 2 years is only 12 figures…any insight?

A8. We do have rights to Rick Moranis’s character, Louis Tully, for the line. We have rights at this point to all of the major characters and many of the minor ones as well. It should be clear sailing with a robust line available on

BG: Please note the use of qualifier "it should be". This will be referred to later when we fuck up the line and it is cancelled after releasing Louis Tully and two of the Ghostbusters.

Q9. How much do you take into consideration the poll results when it comes to making new figures in the JLU line? Is it the new sculpts required for of some of these figures (Toyman, STRIPE, Kalibak, etc.) that has kept them from being made up to this point?

A9. We do look at lots of poll results and fan requests for all of our collector lines. There are many figures we did in 2009 that were specific fan requests.

BG: We will not sculpt anything new if it can possibly be avoided. If fans would like to submit lists of characters that are smooth all over, we will consider them as there might be one or two we have missed.

Q10. MOTUC – Female Body Sculpts – Can Mattel provide an update on whether or not the female MOTUC figures (including Adora (January
2010)) will have an ab-crunch or waist-twist point of articulation (or some other articulation allowing movement/posing in the torso area)?
A10. The females will not have ab crunch.
BG: We will continue to reduce articulation across all lines until the figures are as static as McFarlane figs, but without the detailed sculpts. Thanks you - please send more questions that we won't really answer so we can do this again soon!

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