Hasbro has the Micronauts AND JJ Abrams wants to do a film?!

If true as currently reported, I'm in! Wow. As always when it comes to Hollywood and the Toy industry, what's old is new again. I have fond memories of this Mego toy line of the late '70s. All those kids from the swingin' seventies and early '80s now grown up and running around Hollywood are constantly strip-mining those eras lately for potential easy cash cows in the 21st century. So yes, potentially a very good move for both groups.

We are very interested to see where this development leads. We're sure Thundercats and Rom, Spaceknight can't be far behind.

GI Joe: Rise Of Cobra Blu-Ray & GI Joe Resolute DVD Reviews

Against my better judgement, I bought this blu-ray (only $19.99 pre-order from Amazon) after thinking it was pretty limp in the theatres. Nursing a horriffic cold, I only managed to stay awake for about painful 20 minutes before dozing off, mercifully regaining conciousness as the credits rolled. Here are the original notes from my first (theatrical) viewing of the film:

Minuses:
* Fake snake
* Holograms have audible footsteps?
* Wayans awful
* Quaid awful
* Dialogue awful
* Acting awful
* Accelerator suit double awful
* Montage training = world police
* Turning invisible allows you to escape?
* How much did double bubble gum pay for product placement?
* Cobra G3 hummer? Weak.
* Cold breath in arctic is the weakest cgi I've seen outside of syfy
channel
* Cobra commanders mask falling off
* Oh wow! Everyone knows each other!
* Oh wow! Another flashback!
* Shock ending telegraphed so bad

Plus:
* Sienna Miller

It's hard to say this without breaking down into a giggle fit, but Stephen Sommers is no Michael Bay.

Prior to going comatose with the live action film, I watched the "adult" Joe cartoon, "Resolute" written by Warren Ellis, who is clearly not only a whore, but is also losing it. Nothing here that we haven't seen a million times before in the Joe comic book, and why is it "for adults"? Because they kill Bazooka and say "Hell"? An episode of Ben Ten has more drama than this.

A self-congratualtory "extra" featuring a bunch of in-house Hasbro hacks yakking about how ground-breaking this mess is only serves to illustrate how arrogant and out of touch the company is when it comes to their properties, a sin of pride that cause both this cartoon and the feature film to fail miserably.

Wanna own some Hasbro/Marvel toy art?

Looks like veteran comic book illustrator Bob Layton was commissioned by Hasbro Toys to create the package art for the current line of the Marvel Universe action figures. Specifically, the box art for the SECRET WARS based series of the line.

Bob is selling the original line art. You can find the gallery and pricing here.

I think Layton also contributed designs or package artwork to the original Mattel SECRET WARS toy line in the '80s. Likely why Hasbro involved him.

GI Joe: The Rise of Corba...The Fall of Sommers...and a toy line

"Wait! Time for Flashback!"






GI JOE: The Rise of Cobra is nothing more than vehicle to sell toys for Hasbro and a great time waster as a summer film. Hasbro and Paramount thought lightning could easily strike twice and if the Transformers franchise works in Hollywood then certainly the Joes would as well.

Nope. I would not be holding out any hopes that this is the launch of great new film franchise and that any sequel will be rushed into production soon. While I would not categorize the film as unwatchable, it’s certainly forgettable. If you grew up as a fan of the GI Joe franchise since the ‘80s, you will find the characters or motivations bear little resemblance to anyone in the original animated series or toy lines. The only exception being the popular good-guy and elite ninja, Snake Eyes.

This film is a mess and looks and feels like it was edited and re-edited over and over by a lot of different people before the final version was settled upon. Flashback sequences are cut up and sprinkled nearly every ten minutes throughout the course of the story. There are different flashbacks for multiple characters and it interrupts the flow of the film constantly. Not that the main plot is that engrossing but seriously, as an example, how often do we need to be reminded that Duke and the Baroness had a history? Hey! Another flashback of Duke kissing a blonde Baroness! Later…Hey! A Baroness flashback of her kissing Duke! I guess they meant something to each other at one point. Hmmm.

Yes, this is primarily a film that is meant to drive every 10 year old boy straight into a toy aisle. There are lots of ‘splosions, ninja fights, crazy cool high tech gadgets and vehicles. But most of the action sequences have been lifted off a history of popular action or sci-fi films. The entire last big battle sequence is practically stolen shot for shot from Star Wars: Return of the Jedi for God’s sake. Apparently the writers really liked that film. Check it out, you’ll see I’m not kidding…The Rebel fleet assault on the Death Star/Main bad guy base: a desperate sword fight inside between good and evil; a good guy crack team struggles to take out a big weapon that is firing on the fleet outside; a vehicle chase in a narrow cavern that ends with a huge fire ball hurling through this cavern and our heroes making it out just in time! It’s amazing these filmmakers got away with that much stolen material.

A few of the actors actually seem to be trying in this film so it’s easy to feel bad for them. Especially the two lead actresses, Sienna Miller as the Baroness and Rachel Nichols as Scarlett. Both hot, both trying to give their limited characters depth and emotion. Even a few of the background characters are better than the main ones. Said Taghmaoui as Breaker for example was way more interesting than either Duke or Ripcord. But there are also the total worthless lumps like the awful dull Channing Tatum as Duke. Poor Dennis Quaid tries as General Hawk but I have a feeling between the crappy writing and messy editing, he got the short shrift.

With the additional marketing tossed at this film by Paramount in the past several weeks, the reported cost of the film has reached the 300 million mark. I’d be very surprised to see this little project will come anywhere close to that number even with the worldwide tally added in. Hell, not even with any DVD sales added in. Which is why it’s not hard to predict that even though the film ends with a definitive opening for a sequel, don’t hold your breath for it anytime soon.

The director Stephen Sommers now cements himself firmly in hack status in Hollywood. Can’t afford a talented action director for your film? Call Sommers! He’ll be happy to crap it out for you. He’s seen Star Wars films too after all.

Transformers Complete 1st Season DVD Review

Not going to bore fellow fanboys with a review of the animated series itself on this first in a series of new DVD releases from Shout! Factory and Hasbro. If you are interested in this '80s cartoon series you already think it's great or it takes you back or you bought it for your kid because, yes you are now that old. Let's talk about the bonus features or lack thereof.

Disk Three has one nineteen minute feature and a few short extras. Three commercials and one of the old animated PSAs (Public Service Announcements). Oh, yeah, and one printable script of an episode.

The main feature is titled Triple Changer: From Toy to Comic to Screen. A talking head retrospective of how the TF toy line came to be and how the comic and animated show were created to help sell the line in the U.S. The story is interesting but the interviews are lop-sided. Two original producers of the animated series and the original writer of the comic are here but all the Hasbro interviews are with current employees. All too young to have been there 25 years ago.


The most interesting interview in the piece is with former Marvel Comics writer/editor Bob Budiansky. This guy almost single handedly created each of the names and back stories for each of the characters. He should be one of the richest creators around as the guy who gave name and personality to the show, the books and every G1 TF toy. Here Bob shows off his original, hand written list of TF names he jotted down and then referenced every time Hasbro needed to name yet another new toy robot. What's a name like Megatron worth you think?

And here is a look at the original treatment for the main plotline of the series...

The feature is interesting about how the toy line was started but overall a wasted opportunity by Shout! Factory. Since this is a DVD set for an animated show...where the hell is any artwork or behind the scenes look at the show itself? Designs, storyboards, paintings, discussions with series directors or other artists or writers. None of those talents or any art from the series would be hard to track down. So why the miss?

The other "bonus" content on the disk, are very odd inclusions. The PSA actually should not be a bonus at all. These 15 second PSAs were tacked onto the end of most originals episodes. Just like for the GI JOE animated series, there were several of these vinyets created. So why not include all the PSAs and add them to the end of the episodes themselves?

Lastly there are three laughable commercials. In the first two, the quality is very poor and looks like they were pulled off some bootleg VHS tape. Ontop of this, all the faces of the child actors in the spots are completely blurred out! Looks like Hasbro didn't feel like paying these kids, now adults, again per the Screen Actors Guild agreement. You can always find the original, non-blurred content on YouTube. And more of a selection of spots.

And the last of the three spots is for the Generation 2 line! A version of the TF toy line that was introduced around the early 1990s...long after the animated series on this set ended. A really sloppy, and just plain stupid inclusion.

C'mon, I knew this and I'm not even a collector.

Animated series on DVD: A+
Bonus Disk Content: C-

If Shout! Factory wants to be a bigger player in the DVD production, they will need to at least put some thought and effort into what they are doing. There is a giant Transformers multi-season box set being released in July. Maybe that's what they are saving the real behind the scenes work for.