BitterNews for Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

Relatively dull day for Nerdgasms, but here goes:

• Apple killed the Kindle with it’s newly revealed “iPad” which has to be the worst name they could’ve come up with, as the internet nearly broke from all the tampon jokes.
• The CEO of Borders split like a Haitian running out of a tall building. They are doomed.
• Diamond will now sell any old shit, after their experiment with order minimums failed.
• Skeletor did not sell out on Matty today, so that must mean something…
• The next Romero Dead film has a real date: April 30th for VOD and limited theatrical starting on May 28th. OOOoooookay.
• The second wave of Mattel’s Public Enemies line is finally starting to hit Targets.
• Rich Johnston at Bleeding Cool wrote one of the stupidest pieces he’s ever written (really saying something) about how the new Kotobukita Thor & Cap A statues were likely reveals of the movie costumes. Rich should not write about things he doesn’t understand. Like toys.
• Katy Perry should take over for Simon on American Idol.
• Pete Doherty brought heroin to court. Why won’t it kill him?
• Weird Al is making a TV movie with Cartoon Network (live action).
• Devo will play at the Olympics, giving us another reason not to watch.
• No hot chicks did anything interesting today.
• Great day for comic books. New FF was, as usual, astounding, and Spider-man is coming out of it’s slump. New Morrison Batman seems to be finally moving the Bruce is Dead story forward, although that may be a bait & switch, and the Cap Reborn conclusion was a doozy!
• And apparently some guy who is President is going to say something on TV tonight.

BitterNews for Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

• After an unexciting Barb Wire reveal a few weeks back, Triad Toys has pics of their upcoming Ghost figure. The pic above does not do justice to the figure. Check out Triad’s page for more info.
• Tomorrow is tablet day. We suggest you check out the MacRumors website, which will provide consolidated coverage of the event as it takes place Wednesday, January 27th at 10 am Pacific, 1 pm Eastern.
• According to the NYTimes: “The tablet is expected to be a multimedia device that will let people watch movies and television shows, play games, surf the Internet and read electronic books and newspapers. Though companies like Toshiba Corp. and Hewlett-Packard Co. have introduced Windows-based tablet computers before and Amazon.com Inc. and others sell similarly-sized digital-book readers, people briefed by Apple say the company intends to carve out a new product category.”
• Apple are absolutely carving out their own distribution system, which will likely add books to the iTunes store, at a much higher return to publishers per sale than any other reader or system currently in place. Add this to the expected quality screen and the continuing Apple Mania, and if I was Kindle (or any other online delivery system), I’d be pooping my pants.
• Stop the planet - Keith Richards stopped drinking. If he quit, something must be drastically wrong (dead liver), but we at BG hope that isn’t the case.
• eBay is introducing a new selling tier structure that allows users to sign up for one year at $49.99 and have free access to their Seller's Assistant Pro (previously a $25 a month program) and lower insertion fees.
• Michael Monroe (ex-Hanoi Rocks) revealed the line-up for his new band, which includes former Hanoi Rocks bandmate Sami Yaffa (bass), as well as Ginger from The Wildhearts and from Danzig/Samhain, guitarist Todd Youth (fresh from a stint with Glen Campbell!). This band will play SXSW and they have already written a bunch of songs for a release this fall (meaning 2011 in rock n roll time).
• John Travolta is sending scientologists to Haiti. Jessica Simpson is sending shoes. Therefore Jessica Simpson= smarter than John Travolta.
• The IRON MAN 2 soundtrack is ALL AC/DC – not a cheap proposition, BTW. A video from the album debuted online today. It’s like Maximum Overdrive all over again, except the Green Goblin isn’t in it.
• Lego are going blind-box with a new line of minifigs sold in separate boxes. Price is expected to be in the $2-$4 range. So far, no licensed figs are shown.
• Lauren Hill (ex-Fugees) who has burned through millions of dollars and many years working on a follow-up to the Miseducation of Lauren Hill album of many years ago, sang in New Zealand this weekend. Sony execs still not expecting to see their return on investment any time soon.
• Mattycollector.com continues to be a clusterfuck. Today Digital River sent out notices to many customers, notifying them that their Club Eternia subscriptions had expired. These customers had so far only gotten the January figure in a 12 month subscription, so of course the internet broke. Matty issued this: “All customer service issues with order numbers have been gathered and are being reported to Digital River today. Facebook pages are proving to be too difficult to navigate b/c there are so many posts (pages are slowwwww to load and prone to crashing the farther back we go) so once the Fan Forums launch, we'll be gathering issues there. FOR NOW, PLEASE POST ISSUES TO THIS NOTE.”
• “Shortly thereafter they sent this: Regarding the emails you've been receiving advising that your subscriptions are cancelled, we just verified with Digital River that they are NOT CANCELLED.” Just another day at Mattel!
• The Who announced their Super Bowl set list. I’d think the NFL might be pissed about this – it’s sort of anti-climactic – like announcing the winner of the game.
• Mark Millar is doing another charity auction, this time to name the bad guy in his upcoming book, Nemesis.
• Apparently Elin is not going to Divorce Tiger. He must be one smooth-talking, check-writing motherfucker.
• DELUSION OF THE DAY: Here’s a quote from the guy who plays Ando on Heroes regarding their plummeting ratings: "I'm not worried about it all, because I think that it's very misperceived. We have a larger audience than ever, but they're completely scattered in so many different platforms. People are watching "Heroes" not only on television but mostly on the computer and on their iPods and phones. They're doing NetFlix, Amazon, Hulu, NBC, DVDs, you name it. It's amazing how fast technology has evolved even in the past four years. The way people are watching media has changed completely." Yes, Ando, there are more platforms than ever to not watch Heroes on.
• Actor Pernell Roberts died at age 81. He starred on 'Bonanza’ and 'Trapper John, M.D.'
• The ABBAWORLD theme park / Museum opened in London. Now you know where to take your mom.
• Reports are trickling in of DCUC Wave 12 showing up at Wal-mart. Strangely, the cases include Iron, Spectre, Eclipso, and Dr.Midnight, but not the figures that are already being sold through specialty retailers (Mary Marvel, etc). No word on a date for solid case sales through Matty.
• The Secret Wars series with Thor, Hawkeye, etc is being found regionally.
• And finally, the Fall/Winter Xeric Awards were announced. I’m sure I’ll never read any of them.

BitterNews for Monday, January 25th, 2010

• Mattel Named to FORTUNE’s 2010 “100 Best Companies to Work For” List; it must be great to work there – they never fire anyone, no matter how bad they are!
• 3A Toys have been dropping hints about upcoming projects – in addition to already announced collaborations with McFarlane (Spawn), 2000ad (the entire Universe), and Metal Gear Solid, today they hinted that Tank Girl is coming to 3A. I’d love a Hewlett designed 1:6 comic style Tank Girl…
• Cold Space is a new comic book series co-written by Samuel L Jackson and Eric Calderon drawn by Jeremy Rock, published by Boom! Jackson & Calderon worked together on Afro Samurai.
• Gareb Shamus is Vince McMahon-ing the comic con business, since the San Diego crew seem unwilling or unable to take it national. Wizard is launching a new Wizard World comics convention, in New Jersey. (what exit?). It will be October 15th-17th this year at the New Jersey Convention & Exposition Center (NJCEC), in Edison.
• Will Joseph Gordon-Levitt Be The New Spider-Man? It looks likely, esp in the wake of the Director announcement. So, if you weren’t already convinced that Sony fucked up ditching Raimi, this should do it. This guy must have a golden tongue (and I don’t mean fer talking with), because one of the top female execs at Sony has been looking for a franchise for him to take over and look what dropped in his lap. Ugh.
• AT&T may be losing it's iPhone exclusivity as early as Wednesday at Apple's media event. Jobs is calling the tablet “the most important thing he’s ever done.”
• Good Charlotte finished an album and have scrapped it – apparently it didn’t meet their high standards (!).
• Nikki Sixx has broken up with Kat Von D, giving hope to aging irrelevant rockers and aging pickled whores everywhere.
• Aerosmith begins auditioning singers soon.
• Gary Coleman arrested for domestic violence. If reports are true, he’s still a virgin, so I can see why he might beat his wife of many years.
• Sag Awards were essentially a re-run of the Golden Globes.
• Throwing Muses recording new album with “Donations” from fans. Time to hang it up.
• Fox beat out Lion’s Gate and Paramount in bidding war for domestic rights to Robert Rodriguez’ “Machete” – spin-off of Grindhouse trailer. Film is already completed.
• LA Johnson, director who worked closely with Neil Young has died.
• MAKE IT STOP!: Jane’s Addiction recording new material. Just stay broken up, please. Thanks.
• Roman Polanski ordered to return to US for trial. Looking forward to the testimony about how he drugged and ass-raped a minor.
• Avatar #2 film of all time in USA, proving people are stupid.
• Gremlins 3 is in the works; might be 3-D.
• Planet of the Apes re-re-boot happening, now called “Ceaser” and a new take on “Conquest”.
• John Edwards (after finally admitting he is the father of his mistresses child) is getting self-kicked in the crotch again, this time by a sex tape he made with his baby-mama, which was discovered by the former aide who not only tried to cover up the affair because he believed in Edwards, but who now is probably the one leaking it in advance of his own tell-all book, the Politician, which comes out in early Feb. Andrew Young (the author and ex-Aide) will be on 20/20 Friday to promote the book.
• Damages starts season 3 tonight – a major character is supposed to die in the first episode. Remind your mom.
• The cast of Jersey Shore is holding out for more money for season two from MTV. Wow. Can’t they find more semi-literate Ugnaut whores that’ll suck anything? Snooki must have a few sisters, probably some she hasn’t even met yet!
• David Bowie is dumping out another live album tomorrow, in hopes of keeping up with those bond payments. He’s also reissuing his debut album as a 2CD set, but only in the UK.
• Also in stores, the only two albums by the Other Two, the husband/wife team from New Order that didn’t start Revenge or make records with the Pet Shop Boys after New Order broke up the first time. These are less than marginally interesting records, avoid.
• Another Fozzy album comes out, too. Yikes! Did Michael Alago get another A&R job that allows him to hang out with shirtless rock boys?

BitterNews Roundup for Weekend of January 22-24, 2010

• Conan (the Barbarian, not O’Brien) has been cast. It’s Jason Momoa, some greasy stud from Stargate – which is at least a bit more accurate to the character than a right wing Austrian.
• Lots of hubbub over stupid speculative article about Paul Levitz’ replacement at DC, proving a lot of indie comic nerds are more fruity for the big two than they would admit at Mocca gatherings in Brooklyn.
• Next Friday (Jan 27th) is release date for the new 3A 1:6 World War Robot release from Ashley Wood. Look for Dropcloth to be available in many versions. It’s not clear yet from the 3A news as to how many and in what configs they will be sold, but right now it looks like singles (some packed with a bonus exclusive square) a 4 pack and perhaps an 8!!! Pack. As these are $130 each for singles, hard to guess at what an 8 pack will cost. Also there appear to be Nightwatch & Daywatch versions coming (this is typical for Wood) which may or may not be random or part of a multipack only.
• Today’s picture is Lt Uhura’s nipples. You are welcome.
• Flint is the next 1:6 Joe from Sideshow. Let me guess, it’ll blow and be overpriced?
• Avatar is still not as good as you think it is.
• Touma is doing Alien and Predator super-deformed vinyls. Both look great and much nicer than previous Medicom attempts.
• The new KISS Medicom dolls are as nice as any recent Hot Toys figure. Hopefully this is the sign of a new start for Medicom who were veering into Sideshow territory with their recent releases.
• Everyone has a beard now. Everyone is stupid.
• 21st Century Toys, who helped spearhead a renewed interest in 1:6 Military figures in the US (and also did the Misfits figures) before going bankrupt, are now coming back as Go ???. It is not known if they are doing more 1:6 or if they are abandoning the scale in favor of 1:18, which they successfully sold to Wal-mart, K-mart, TRU and K-Mart before they screwed the pooch the first time. Good luck, guys!
• The trailer for “Diary of A Wimpy Kid” is online.
• The Gorillaz, fake cartoon band co-created by Martin Hewlett of Tank Girl fame are back with a new album, surprisingly on EMI, who have done much to alienate singer Damon Albarn (also of Blur fame). That Blur have reformed and may have a new album in the works (their first in many years, and featuring the return of guitarist Graham Coxon) – is the Gorillaz album a deal-ender to get Albarn free of the poisonous EMI? Blur are huge everywhere around the world except the USA.
• Some of the stuff I am selling on eBay is overpriced.
• Pee-Wee Herman appeared on 2nd to last Conan episode – slightly frightening, yet eerily similar to his 80’s heyday.
• Peter Gabriel is looking for a new label situation in the USA. Catalog and Real World included – no wonder there hasn’t been a deal yet.
• Haitians get 58 Million from Clooney & pals show – more money to be generated by downloads of largely evil performances from show.
• Gerald McCabe, founder of one of THE greatest Los Angeles venues, McCabe’s Guitar Shop, has died.
• Here are your Tuesday new album releases: Animal Collective - Campirefire Songs, Corrine Bailey-Rae – The Sea, Beach House - Teen Dream, Jason Castro - Jason Castro, Citay - Get Together, Evacuate Chicago – Veracity. Joe Firstman - El Porto, FredriK- Trilogi, Four Tet - There Is Love In You, Charlotte Gainsbourg – Irm, Gorevette - Lustfully Yours [EP], Lady Antebellum - Need You Now, Locksley - Be In Love, Jennifer Lopez - Love?, Los Campesinos! - Romance Is Boring, The Magnetic Fields – Realism,
Never Shout Never - What Is Love?, Patrick & Eugene - Altogether Now (Birds Bees Flowers Trees), The Silent League - ...But You've Always Been The Caretaker, Three 6 Mafia - Laws Of Power. Not sure what is scarier; all the beard rock or the J-Lo album.
• As we move to a lease-based entertainment society, DVD sales are so down that Best Buy and Papa Johns are offering a free pizza with purchase of select titles this week. Is that smell melting cheese or desperation?
• Quincy Jones is going to remake “We Are The World” for Haiti. Not everyone from the original lineup will be participating, like Kim Carnes and Michael Jackson, albeit for different reasons.
• Prince’s new theme song for the Minnesota Vikings Football team is so gay that a greased gerbil in leather on Christopher Street called it gay.
• Wilco is giving away free live shows on it’s website, with the understanding that you’ll donate money to Haiti charities if you partake. I donated the money in the name of never having to hear their boring new stuff any more.
• Latest Apple Tablet rumors – has front facing camera for video chat, still no carrier determined for what is assumed to be a cloud based machine that will always be connected to the internet via the 1 Billion dollar data center Apple is building near Atlanta. We’ll know more Wednesday.
• Speaking of Wednesday, Captain America Reborn #6 is coming out this week, so you can find out why Cap is in all those books you’ve been reading for the last few weeks since this was SO LATE!! Just another reason to kill these multi-book storylines.
• Chris Morris, one of the most interesting (if not consistent) British comedy provocateurs has a new project about a group of terrorists planning an attack. This is a comedy piece and promises to skewer these idiots with the same delicious wit as Morris has used to pop various other douchebags in the past.
• Powers TV series has a script and director. I haven’t heard of either.
• Jay Mohr is filming a new Clint Eastwood / Matt Damon film.
• Based on Adjusted gross (inflation, etc), Gone With The Wind is still no 1 film. Avatar is #36. And a piece of shit.

BitterNews Roundup for January 21st, 2010

• Conan (O’Brien, not the Barbarian) & staff get $42 million for sitting it out until only September 1st (???) when they will return on Fox at 11 and crush Leno once and for all. Nice one. Oh, and Tonight Show ratings up 50%. Leno show – not so much…
• Heidi McDonald’s Beat was down most of today, back up now.
• Hurt Locker not as good as film awards & critics think it is. My capsule review: War is scary. Defusing bombs makes you tense. If you go to war, you’ll meet a lot of people you wouldn’t have otherwise and some of them will handle their circumstances better than others. I just saved you two hours of your life.
• Opening Friday: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in the Tooth Fairy, Indiana Solo in Extraordinary Measures (looking OLD dude), and our “least of many evils” pick, Legion, which gets the pick because of the old lady that crawls on the roof like Spiderman while rotating her head like Reagan in the Exorcist. The rest of it probably sucks.
• Sideshow admits they fucked up Firefly and are now looking to fix it. Sold out anyway. They also state that their intention is to make the Joes “real life” versions of their RAH counterparts, which frankly seems stupid to me when that whole license you paid for is really the sales driver. And is Cobra Commander based in any reality? Snake-Eyes’ mask? Just saying.
• Avatar is still not as good as you think it is.
• New DVD releases for Tuesday: Surrogates with Die Hard, Saw 87 with no one, Michael Jackson: I Can’t Sleep Doctor, Whip It (maybe the worst Drew Barrymore movie EVER – can your mind handle it??), and our pick, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell – because we didn’t see it and it’s supposed to be really offensive.
• Thor movie started filming this week.
• New DC Direct To Video animated feature will suck like all have (except New Frontier).
• Kick-ass #8 next week. Previews up online.
• Air America shuts down – thanks Scott Brown.
• Robot Chicken picked up for two more seasons. Still won’t make Seth Green any taller or less insecure.
• Pee-Wee Herman show is back – live only in LA, but with much of the TV cast!
• Lady GaGa is losing money touring. Great.
• Sundance is underway.
• “Red” film based on comic book drawn by Cully Hamner is shooting with Bruce Willis.
• Kanye West not invited to Clooney’s Haiti benefit. Quel Surprise’.
• Wall Street doesn’t like fiscal responsibility. Dow drops 200pts.
• New Runaways clip is online.
• Scott Pilgrim test screenings get great reports.
• Brian Eno compares record sales to whale blubber. Got analogy while looking in mirror.
• Apple tablet update: looks like flattened iPhone and will have two dock connectors
• Artie Lange spoke briefly to Howard Stern on air yesterday.
• After the “Fall of the Hulks” storyline, look for a mini-run called “Hulked Out Heroes” where other Marvel characters become Hulk-like creatures.
• The Four Horsemen (sculptors of DCU line) have issued some bullshit about why Darkseid sculpt is the size it is. Who cares?
• According to her husband, Brittany Murphy died of a broken heart because she wasn’t hired for Happy Feet 2. He’s not on drugs much.
• Rhianna’s new boyfriend beat his ex. STEEERIKE TWO!
• Drea De Matteo from the Sopranos has an AC/DC logo tattooed right over her cooch.